Meg Conlon

Sister

When James was little – about 3 or 4 – my older brother and I told him we found him in the barn with our cat Maurice, and decided we may as well keep them both. He was incredibly upset. But, as he got older and realized our family was a bit nutty, the possibility that he was found in a barn didn’t seem so bad. And, being found there with a cat may be why he was so devoted to his cat Solomon.

He may have been unsure of where he got his start, but to me he always seemed confident and sure of where he was going. A skeptic even in his teens, who skipped being confirmed, he surprised everyone by majoring in religion. He walked away from a PhD and forged an unbelievable career in restoration that took him all over the Middle East and Africa. He brought that same confidence to the languages he loved, the food he ate with gusto (especially cheese), the neighborhood he chose to live in, the books he read, and of course his friendships.

There’s a children’s book called The Three Questions, based on a Tolstoy short story. The questions are: Who is the most important one? What is the most important thing to do? And what is the most important time? The answers are: the one you’re with; helping them with what they need; and right now.

I think that’s how James lived his life. When you were with him, you were the most important one, doing what seemed most important at that moment.

I felt it when he took me to a favorite restaurant, introduced me to the owner and helped choose what he considered the best food.

I think my family felt it even if he was lounging like only he could do, teasing us, baiting my mother or arguing with us.

His Arabic neighbors felt it the day after 9/11, as he shared coffee with them at a nearby café, and hid with them under the tables when a drunk wandered in, cursing foreigners.

I hope Jacqui felt it, because he was clear to me in the weeks before he died about who he wanted to be with, building a life together, at that moment.

I imagine the kids he taught Taekwondo to felt it too, as did the people he met and worked with in Jordan, Syria, Yemen, Italy, Egypt, Africa and Turkey.

Of course, all this was true only if Solomon wasn’t in the room at the same time.




Solomon in James' old apartment, 2006